Happy Belated Mother’s day! Last year, I had the luxury of celebrating my first mother’s day with my mom as she made the trip from Canada to Italy to visit me and help me take care of my newborn. This time last year, I experienced a lot of hardships as a new mom and when mother’s day rolled along, I couldn’t help but think about how unjust it was that mother’s day was only celebrated once a year.
Mothers give up careers, self-care, hobbies, social life and SLEEP for their babies and don’t expect anything in return. The sheer joy of watching their babies grow, learn and flourish is more than enough to compensate for all that sacrifice. Right? Riiiiiiight?
Let’s be honest, it’s not every day that we experience this sheer joy. There are moments of happiness where you think that having kids was the best decision you had ever made and then there are moments when you think, “oh god, was I really cut out to be a mom?” Maybe even worse: Maybe you are regretting motherhood altogether.
Recently, I stumbled upon an article about an Italian blogger from Varese who wrote a blog post titled, “Regretting Motherhood.” Gulp. She has been interviewed and featured many times for writing about how much she regrets having her kids. In her article, she mentions that it wasn’t so bad with her first child, but she really could have done without the second child.
She talks about her loss of freedom: freedom to watch whatever she wants on TV, go out with friends, watch a movie, or read a book. She longs for silence, a time when she didn’t have to spend the whole day washing and ironing mountains of clothes, and SLEEP.
But it’s not that she doesn’t love her children. She loves them so much that she is worried sick about them. She talks about the anxiety and fear she lives with every day thinking of the people and things that could threaten the health or well-being of her kids. She loves them but she would have been better off without them: Calm and carefree.
You can imagine the amount of hate mail this woman gets accusing her of being a selfish and terrible mother. At the same time, she’s also been praised by many for finally being honest about certain realities of motherhood. Is she really that bad of a person for telling the truth? What is your truth? Do some of her thoughts resonate with you?
If you are reading this and you are thinking about starting a family, I wouldn’t discourage you but I would warn you of a few things before your life changes completely:
10 Things to Consider Before Becoming a Mom
- It will put the brakes on your career
- It will put the brakes on your hobbies
- It will force you to find time to shower, cut your nails, eat etc.
- You will worry all the time, while you’re awake and while you’re sleeping.
- You will no longer be priority number one
- Running errands will be 10x more complicated
- You may have to work extra hard at your marriage
- Your body may not go back to the way it was before
- You might not sleep a full 8 hours again…ever
- You will be so in love that you will think it impossible to have enough love for anything or anyone else.
Are you a mother? Would you give any other warnings?