Getting off the pill
I had been on the pill for 14 years. I had heard stories about women had been on the pill for 10+ years and had become pregnant a month after stopping. I also heard stories about women who had been on the pill for a few years and had trouble getting their bodies to ovulate again.
I was really active when I was younger and never had a regular period which was one of the reasons why I was put on the pill. Therefore, I had never experienced that-time-of-the-month symptoms: cramping, mood swings, headaches, sore breasts…
Getting off the pill was going to be a new adventure for me because I was about to get to know what it was really like to be a woman!! I kept track of the changes:
First month off:
- 28 day cycle
- changes in CM
- sore breasts
- slight cramping
Second month off:
- 31 day cycle
- no symptoms
Third month off:
- still waiting for my period…..
- no symptoms
Like anyone with a computer and an internet connection, I immediately tried to figure out what was happening to my reproductive system. To me, the obvious conclusion was that my lack of symptoms and longer periods were a sure sign of anovulation. I must have read every single blog and forum regarding this subject at least twice, desperately looking for someone who was in my situation WITH A HAPPY ENDING.
By CD33, convinced that I wasn’t ovulating, I messaged my gyno telling her I had no symptoms and my period was MIA. I wanted to book an appointment with her to see what my options were to get my body ovulating again. She asked me: “Are you pregnant?” “Oh. I didn’t consider…CRAP.” Now, I felt stupid. I had been doing two months of solid internet research filling my head with negative possibilities that I never even considered the idea that I could be pregnant!
Since I live in a small, gossipy town, I drove way out to buy a two-pack pregnancy test. I got home and immediately and awkwardly peed on the stick. My heart sank. It was negative. All the sad and frustrating TTC stories I read about came flooding back into my head. I was 1,000,000 percent sure I wasn’t ovulating and messaged my gyno with the disappointing news. Her advice to me was to wait another week to see if my period came. If not, I could come in to see her.
I read that some women ovulate with no symptoms. So, while I was waiting for my next period, I bought 30 ovulation tests and a basal thermometer to track my fertile days, if any. I just had to be patient.
I also read that sometimes pregnancy tests cannot detect the pregnancy hormone (hcG) so early on in your cycle and will therefore, give you a false negative. However, I was already at CD35 and figured that this case didn’t apply to me.
Around CD40, I started to get cramps which was really a mental relief. “YES! A symptom! I’ll be getting my period and can start tracking for fertility!” The next morning, I woke up at 6am to go pee. As I was going to the bathroom, I remembered that it had been about a week since I took the last pregnancy test. I reluctantly took out the remaining test and just wanted to get it over with because the mere presence of it was annoying me and reminding me of my infertility. Besides, my period was on its way.
So I went to the washroom and did the test. I barely waited 3 seconds and saw two lines appear. Wait, two lines means, what? “Incinta” (pregnant). I was in complete shock that I shook my head and blinked my eyes several times. I felt blood rush to my face as I looked in the mirror.
I have a secret board on Pinterest that has a list of creative ways to tell your spouse that you’re pregnant. However, at that moment, I was too excited and impatient to do any of them and decided just to wake him up and show him the stick. He woke up with one eye open and asked: “what the heck is that?” I impatiently told him to “reaaaad!!!!” He opened the other eye and said “oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh wooooooooooow!”
After we had our moment of joy with the stick of pee I suddenly remembered that there was a cup of pee in the bathroom and abruptly ended the nice moment by blurting out “oh gross” and running to the bathroom to clean it up before my husband saw it.
Little did I know that being embarrassed about a cup of pee was going to be the least of my worries during pregnancy.
That’s my successful TTC story. I’ve learned from reading pretty much every blog and forum that exists on the world wide web that only one thing is consistent and reliable in all pregnancies:
NO TTC STORY OR PREGNANCY IS ALIKE. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT.
You will drive yourself crazy trying to find another person just like you with a success story. If you must read and search, try to filter out the negative stories and stick to the positive ones.
Here are some youtube videos and podcasts that talk about positive stories to help you get through the TTC phase:
Photo by Pixabay.com